Kick Depression out of Bed and Snuggle Up with Joy Instead
by Rachel Fleischman, LCSW

"My mind is like a bad neighborhood. I try never to go there alone."
~Ann Lamont; author

Depression stinks. No doubt about it. Having treated dozens of individuals with depression over the years, while reading countless books on the treatment of this "noonday demon", I still believe that the number one factor that really enables me to get to the heart of this malady is my firsthand experience with it. That's right. Not only am I a psychotherapist, I am also a bonafide client as well.

"The mind is a terrible thing to watch." ~Ann Lamont

I agree. Imagine if we had a scribe in our heads, even for a day.
I know I would be ashamed to think of what mine might write.

What folks may not know is that there are very useful tricks we can use to alleviate a sour mood. The brain is plastic.  It is the last part of our body to really know something. When we tell our brain that life is awful and we are doomed, our brain tends to agree.  So, I compiled "Top 10 Tricks to Kick Depression out of Bed, and Snuggle up with Joy Instead." Write these down, stick em on your wall, and put them in motion.

First trick: Get out of your head and into your feet
The body craves movement. Exercise really works. Let's not think of it as exercise though. Nothing is gnarlier to the depressed person than imagining him/herself at the gym in ill fitting sweats, panting on the stair master while svelte athletes are bopping around in all directions.
As Woody Allen says, 90% of success is showing up. Once we've got our walking shoes on, once we get endorphins cooking, the doldrums have less power to penetrate .

Second trick: Turn on music! Now!
I recommend that my clients have an arsenal of inspiring and fun music at their fingertips. I have even been known to make CD's for my clients. When we're depressed, the smallest task feels overwhelming. If I can kick-start someone's joy, then I am thrilled.

Third trick: Turn on the light and sit in the sun.
Many of us work in windowless cubicles or offices, and wonder why we feel blue. This time of year, when the sun sets earlier, we must 's dark out in autumn and winter, get a light, get some sun, get some more sun. And if there is no sun in your world, then buy a full-spectrum light. 

Fourth trick: Hang out with 4-leggeds. (Unless of course, you're allergic) Having an animal companion near can instantly release oxytocin, that magical hormone that we secrete when we fall in love, give birth, or are nursing. It releases a feeling of goodwill, or trust in the world. OK, so not all of all are blessed to be in love all the time, or be breast feeding, so I recommend my clients find other ways to bring on the joy chemical. Read on.

Fifth trick: Change your thoughts. Right now.
We have more than 70,000.00 thoughts per day. 87% of them are negative and are the same thoughts we had yesterday. Experiencing joy is a deliberate choice. Joy takes practice. Joy is hardcore.  I use realistic affirmations, which, at times are posted all over my room. Notice I said realistic. 

We must remember that affirmations don't make something happen, they make something welcome.  People tell me, "I put an affirmation up on my bedroom wall, saying: "I am ready to meet a gorgeous, successful, charming man who will adore and worship me." It's been 3 months. Where is he?" I tell them; "You have made yourself more open to meeting this human. Finding him is another story. Sorry."

Sixth Trick: Follow a joyous lifestyle.
Choose joyous entertainment; find a class, a workout, anything that gets you in your body, preferably sweating a bit.

Seventh Trick: Affirm joy with words.
Rudyard Kipling said "I am by calling a dealer in words. And words are by far the most powerful drug in the world". It may seem trite, but changing the way we speak can be extremely influential in changing our moods.

Eighth Trick: Grab hold of a goal.
Make it a do-able one. Happiness and joy come from goals. We mustn't put off our lives.

Ninth Trick: Cultivate a relationship with the divine.
We are whom our higher self wanted to experience.
There is some truth to the pithy phrase: There's no aetheists in foxholes.  Have a smidgens of faith and the world can be a gentler space.

Tenth Trick: Choose joyous companions.
When we are depressed, we take our somber, sluggish selves wherever we go. It can be very . We need company. We need intimacy. It is very important to be around authentic people. We need someone who believes in us. No nay-sayers!

Slow Down and Be Here Now
by Rachel Fleischman, LCSW

Today is a gift. That's why we call it the present. ~Babatunde Olatunji Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. And today

Studies have shown that Americans are more miserable now than ever. With the challenges that we face economically, it can feel as though we are just hanging on by a thread. This is not so. We all underestimate our need to slow down. If we are not careful, we live as if our schedules are our lives. At the end of the day, we haven’t necessarily been present to our own experience. Mary Pipher, psychologist says: I have never seen people as rushed and distracted as we are now. We have become a nation of multitaskers.

I am incredibly fortunate to work with my counseling clients. Seeing such a rich and intimate side of people has helped me identify what elements are essential to slowing down and being here now. I feel incredibly privileged to have such a profound connection with people. However the occasions when we genuinely need to rush are really a lot less frequent than we convince ourselves. The simple truth is that rushing has become a habit for many of us. And it has a negative effect on our mental, spiritual and physical health.

Scientists have studied emotions and their effect on cognition and brain function. When we are in good spirits, our cognitive repertoire is broadened. That means we are more able to problem solve, complete tasks and fulfill goals. (Seligman M. E. P. (1991). Learned Optimism. New York: Alfred Knopf. Happiness has even been proven to increase pain tolerance. Negative emotion narrows our thought-action repertoire; tasks not only seem more arduous, they actually are.

When you are rushing the body literally is in panic mode. The physical systems feel as if they are constantly being stressed to meet imaginary deadlines. An occasional shot of adrenaline might be good for you but a continuous stream of it will wear down the body and its immune system. You will tend to get sick more often, feel more fatigued, enervated and listless.

When you are rushing mentally, your mind is always ‘on’. Thoughts of things you need to get done and things you have not yet gotten done keep streaming through your mind making you feel out of sorts and unaccomplished. You may even feel panicked and have trouble sleeping and relaxing.

We need to become aware of our daily habits and thoughts. Most of the time when we are rushing, we do not even realize it because it is such an automatic response. By slowing down, and sticking to one experience at a time, we are able to experience more joy. We need to learn to do one thing at a time. Mary Pipher, psychologist, and author of bestselling Reviving Ophelia, says “one of the reasons pets are so popular is that when we are with the, we share their pleasure in being here now. Pets do not live in clock time, and they allow us to rest from chronological time. We join them in older, animal rhythms.” (Seeking Peace, by arrangement with Riverhead books, 2009)

I have dished up a list of some things you can do today to easily slow down, enjoy one activity at a time, and live with more joy. Get ready to Be Here, Now.

1) Slow Your Attention: Slowing down helps give our full-attention to what we are doing. Like full-attention Zen, slowing down can put us in the zone, or what Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi calls flow (“Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience”). Try walking more slowly. Pause before responding to questions. Speak more slowly.

2) Practice Meditating: The first years of the twenty-first century have brought about new and surprising findings about how Buddhist contemplative training can affect the brain. The findings include unprecedented levels of brain activation in certain regions of the brain during meditation, evidence that meditation affects brain areas associated with to positive emotions, as well as strong evidence the brain can be changed through prolonged and disciplined mental training. (J. Davidson, et al., Alterations in Brain and Immune Function Produced by Mindfulness Meditation, Psychosomatic medicine 65.4 (2003): 564-70.)

3) Initiate a Slowing-Down Contest– find a friend and email each other some joyful things that you do each day. Your entry can include the simplest of joys; baking, watching a sunset, reading to a child)

4) Read The Artist’s Way (or any good book) (Julia Cameron; 1992, 2002) Many folks have found this ground-breaking book very helpful in goal setting and connecting with their creative genius. I believe that we all our geniuses. We just need the time and space to let our amazing selves shine.

5) Keep a gratitude journal. This is my absolute favorite new pastime. I love it especially when I am sulking in a moment of gloom and doom. I go to my gratitude journal and put in all the things that happened that I am grateful for, like having a seat on the bus, or getting a card in the mail, or enjoying a lovely meal. (nothing is too small). Start your gratitude journal today, and you will notice that you will attract more good things into your world.

6) Check out these smell-the-roses sites, and take it slow…

slowdownnow.org

www.43things.com

www.mindfuleating.org

www.slowfood.com

7) End the day slowly: Having an evening ritual is a balm to the nervous system. Before you go to sleep make sure that there is nothing stressful going on. Dimming the lights sever hours before bedtime relaxes the mind, and intensifies the output of tryptophan, the sleep-inducing hormone. It’s very hard to enjoy a good-night’s sleep after watching the news. Find a slowness ritual that works for you; reading a book, talking to your partner or a friend, drawing, journaling.

8) Play in nature: This is a lovely way to help you slow down. To enjoy nature you have to be patient, Go to the beach, look at the sea and listen to the waves. Visit the county side, look at the greenery and listen to the birds chirping on the trees. Admire the blooming flowers in your garden and study the snail crawling on the ground. These are some of the delightful things that you can do to take it easy. And here in SF, there is nature all around us.

9) Plant something; nourishing, feeding, harvesting, a plant can lower blood pressure, strengthen the heart and increase the production of serotonin, the happy chemical. And flowers are beautiful.

10) Have Faith; studies have shown that spirituality affects health. In a study of 1,700 older adults, those attending church were half as likely to have elevated levels of IL-6 (hormones associated with increased incidence of disease)

Men, for the sake of getting a living, forget to live. ~ Margaret Fuller.